Feedback: So secret it's signposted

So secret it's signposted

READERS have sent many examples of signs that suggest a quantumesque uncertainty of position in space, such as "queue both sides" (21 January). A colleague spotted one near the UK town of Ongar in Essex that appears to be temporally confused: in large white letters on a brown background it directs tourists firmly to a "Secret Nuclear Bunker".

Secret it may have been, from some, once. But another colleague knew the exact location of its entrance, artfully concealed in a bungalow in the middle of a wood, back in the 1970s. The entrance was hidden precisely because it was supposed to be secret - as were the other "Regional Seats of Government" from which attempts were to be made to reimpose public order after a nuclear attack. Their whereabouts were revealed by nuclear disarmament campaigners, who used to stage demonstrations - and dances - on top of them.

The sign might be true again if it were taken down and hidden, and the museum of the cold war that now occupies the bunker was forgotten. But it ceased to be true for anyone the moment it was erected.

Another unusual unit: in the children's programme All Over The Place that Marc Wilson and his daughter were watching, a depth was described as "50 metres - about 32 Kylie Minogues

Movies in many dimensions

HOW many D can a movie be? A colleague of Feedback was surprised to see a temporary "5D Cinema" set up in London's Hyde Park over the winter. Being able to step into extra dimensions would certainly offer some new camera-angle opportunities - but disappointingly he discovered that gimmicky cinemas in theme parks and elsewhere have been claiming 4D, 5D and even 6D filmic experiences for a few years now, based on the addition of smells, moving seats, mists and other physical effects.

The more boastful among them seem to use a rough equation of one extra D per sense involved. If you limit yourself to the traditional five senses, that would put the limit at 7D (three being reserved for sight, and assuming they can add taste somehow). But as New Scientist has revealed, the range of human perception could be considered much greater than this, with perhaps 21 or more senses (29 January 2005, p 33). So perhaps we can look forward to visiting the ultimate 24D cinema sometime soon.

Please confirm you are dead

THE Reverend Paul Michael received an email the other day headed "Your fund from Eco-Bank card remittance department".

"How are you today?" it asked him. "Please can you confirm this to us before we make any mistake. Somebody called me from your country today and said that he is your brother. He said that you are dead since over 3 days now and before this happened, you asked him to receive these funds on your behalf. He forwarded his address for us to send the ATM MASTER CARD direct to him..."

The email went on to ask him to send $95 towards the cost of the proposed transaction and to supply his personal details.

The reverend is probably too polite to respond with the words that came immediately to our mind: "Oh yeah? Go and take a running jump."

Avoid prostate treatment when pregnant

THE website blurb for Prostamed, an "effective nutraceutical health solution for your prostate issues", assures that it is "an exclusive, all-natural, evidence-based formula designed specifically for adult men with prostate enlargement symptoms".

Ariel Kalma directs our attention to the last two lines of the page. "Are there any contraindication to Prostamed?" the blurb asks itself. "Pregnant women should avoid taking Prostamed for the safety of their baby," it answers.

We are reminded of a Feedback report on 21 October 2006 about a study in the oncology publication Cancer that examined "the fear and uncertainty that comes with a prostate cancer diagnosis - particularly among men".

Quantum colour therapy

QUANTUM fruitloopery of the week: according to a company called Quantum Balance, "In essence, we are all made of color and frequency. As a result, whatever imbalances we might be experiencing on any level, whether it be physical, situational or emotional, can be translated into an imbalance in the color/light frequencies we have radiating/missing within our quantum energy field."

Is there anything we can do about this? Yes, of course there is - we can give ourselves a dose of quantum colour therapy by buying a quantum balance crystal for $49.95.

Keep your eyes shut

FINALLY, a notice in the lobby of the Hilton Hotel, Milton Keynes, UK, warns: "If you observe someone smoking in this building, security may be called." Concerned that if she inadvertently found herself observing someone smoking, this "might collapse into the state of security being called", Felicity Harper decided the best course of action was to keep her eyes closed at all times.

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